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From a sexual attraction standpoint, I challenge you to stand me shirtless next to Sophia Loren in Look, Steely Dan probably couldn’t talk at all to "Hey Nineteen" because they admittedly had "nothing in common." Not because she was too young to name an Aretha Franklin song (which, like, come ON, Steely Dan); the idea that people are what pop culture references they know reduces falling in love to trading trivia. A lot of women have told me they won’t date younger men because of maturity issues, and that’s probably where the idea of a prohibitive "age gap" comes into play for a lot of people.

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Admittedly, I prefer older guys, only because they tend to be fully fused, like a human skull.

You know generally what you’re going to get from someone by a certain age, because they’ve fully committed to their personalities.

I think we can all agree that this is stupid and move on.

Some old people are hot, some young people are not. I don’t like to think about kids or how old someone will be when I’m 35, because I try not to fixate on a guy’s mortality until after he’s met my parents.

The only reason a guy is obligated to pay for a woman’s dinner in this day and age is because it’s his turn, it’s her birthday, or because he’s a maître d’ who spilled something on her.

Women who feel otherwise are the reason we get paid 89 cents to their dollar.

Like, "This Cuban-Chinese restaurant is half-Latino, just like the late Emilio Estevez." Or, "I just put a dollar’s worth of O-Town songs in the jukebox.

Who knew this bar would have a dollar’s worth of O-Town songs?

It’s too bad O-Town was hit by a bus."He was the only "younger guy" I’d ever gone out with, by about six years, and I used to ask my friends obsessively if it was "weird." But they just thought it was strange that all of our conversations could start a potential death rumor about Ray Liotta. Ultimately, it wasn’t that this guy was young; it was that I had absolutely nothing to say to him that wasn’t "There," "Not there," "NOT there, this isn’t anybody’s birthday," or "Slow down, Usain Bolt, who incidentally is A lot of us have found ourselves attracted to somebody younger or older, and have been reluctant to act on it because of some perceived weirdness or taboo.

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